"As the bruises fade, the lightning aches.
Last week, making love, you bit me.
Now the blue and dark have gone
and yellow bruises grow toward pale daffodils,
then paler to become until my body
is all my own and what that ever got me."
"Usually it’s easy being alone. I wake up and don’t have anyone to answer to, or have anyone else to worry about. I make myself coffee, start my shower water, get everything ready for work and I don’t have to stress myself out by wondering if someone else is leaving on time. But today felt different, this morning waking up alone felt different. I’m not sure if it was the way the clouds were blocking the sun or the sound of silence that must have crept through my home during the nighttime. But something didn’t feel right, and neither did I. Being alone has never bothered me. Actually until today I’ve always embraced my independence. I can now say that I know the difference, have felt the difference between being alone and being lonely. I spent the night at my friends house the other night and I woke up to her and her boyfriend laughing in bed, half asleep and half naked. I thought to myself “Wow. That must be so lovely but so tiring too. I would rather sleep in.” But I did sleep in this morning, and I somehow could hear the sound of their laughter in my almost empty home. I could hear the sound of their future crushing my bones, and I could see why people search for most of their lives trying to find what they have. I haven’t found that yet. I’ve found temporary happiness in past lovers, but they never could keep me coming back for more. They never could make me miss someone while just being in the other room. I’m afraid. I’m fucking terrified that one day, like today, I’m going to wake up alone and that will be because of my lack of commitment to connect to anyone else other than myself, or with someone for more than a couple of weeks. I woke up today and I felt different. I felt incomplete. I felt anger for myself for not reaching out or for not staying. I woke up today and I felt different, because sometimes waking up alone is not as free and easy as you always thought."
Posted: 1 October 2014 @ 21:18 / # of notes: 10636



La vie est belle! // Checking out new followers’ blogs!
Posted: 1 October 2014 @ 21:17 / # of notes: 4584

you look amazing today!
"Lovers alone wear sunlight"
Posted: 1 October 2014 @ 21:17 / # of notes: 21565

I want to rip off your logic
and make passionate sense to you.

I want to ride in the swing of your hips.

My fingers will dig in you like quotation marks,
blazing your limbs into parts of speech.


To the starlight caught in my veins,

Where are you? Last time we spoke you were tangled in the lights of London. I miss you. I miss your words. How are your wings? You wrote to me that they were heavy and I promised you that I would always carry you if they became too much for you. Those words haven’t changed.

You told me to remember myself. Remember that I am a constellation. I am a warrior who still reaches for the sky. Oh how I wish to show you all that I have seen. I have caught the hues of sunrise on my fingertips. I have stolen many stars from the nighttime sky. Life has been cruel, you know. I am still caught within the depths of the sea. I found the morning star you promised me there too. I don’t think of you as a liar, but I don’t know what or how to think of you anymore.

Without your armor, you are still you. The writer who always had a letter to share. The person who knew that words my will not always be covered in honey.

However, I am still your little bird.

"But love is dangerous for some people. The sweet is too sweet. The high is too high. Their taste buds explode upon tasting another. Then they drop to the ground like bees."
"I who would love and be loved
Am hated.
I am the victim
And the guilty;
The savage
And the trapped.
I am the angry
And the ill-at-ease.
Oh God!
If I were free
In life
And as I die,
I would neither be
Nor ambushed.
i would find a better way
For existing
And ceasing to exist.
Release me now
From my soul-binding cage
Wherein I touch
But never hold,
But never savor,
But never belong."